A Preview of Trump’s State of the Union Speech

My fellow Americans…esteemed Republican members of Congress, Democrats, the five good Supreme Court Justices, any generals who still like me, and the fake-news enemy-of-the-people media. I’m excited to be here tonight to tell you, quite frankly, of all the amazing things I’m doing. And believe me…there’s many bigly accomplishments. More than any president ever. Especially Obama.

Let’s start with the government shutdown. Or, as many people are calling it, and this is true, and they’re right,..the Schumer/Pelosi shutdown. It’s all the Democrats’ fault. Now when I said weeks ago that I would “own” the shutdown”…that I’d take the “mantle”…that I wouldn’t blame “Chuck” and the Dems…that’s not what I meant.

Look, I’m a builder…and, everyone knows this, but nobody likes to talk about it, I’m the biggest most successful builder…nobody builds buildings like Trump…everyone loves my buildings…the Chinese, the Saudi’s…the Russians…and by the way, there was NO COLLUSION!…the real collusion is with Hillary and the Dems…and so I build things. I ‘own’ things. And, Mickey Mantle was always my favorite baseball player. The Mick! Ya gotta admit, they don’t make ’em like The Mick anymore, am I right! A bit of an ugly drinker though…but we won’t talk about that. Lastly, when I said I wouldn’t blame Chuck, I actually meant that I would blame Chuck.