Dear Republicans: GTFO of Our Vaginas!

The GOP’s War on Women is intensifying, with the most aggressive attacks on reproductive rights we’ve seen yet. Republican men are simply obsessed with the uterus and the vagina. Now don’t get me wrong. As a red blooded heterosexual American male I’ve always had a particular fondness for the vag myself. But the difference is, I appreciate it, I respect it and I know it doesn’t belong to me. I know that I have no business being in it or anywhere near its general vicinity unless I’m invited to do so.

But that’s not how Republican men think, or what they feel. Republican men actually think they own the vagina. Every vagina. And therefore they’re hellbent on controlling it’s every move….what goes in, what goes out, what grows in the uterus and what doesn’t.

And their latest attack on women’s reproductive rights occurred this past week in Florida when Gov. Ron “I never met a vagina I didn’t wanna control” DeSantis at 11pm, under the cloak of darkness and relative secrecy, signed a bill which will ban abortions after just 6 weeks. Most women don’t even know they’re pregnant within that period. This is a draconian measure straight out of The Handmaid’s Tale.

The Republican Party spent 50 years trying to overturn Roe v Wade until they finally did, thanks, ironically, to that male slut Donald Trump, who’s likely paid for more abortions than anyone in history. And now the abortion pill Mifepristone, mail-order access to it, and interstate travel for abortions is facing outrageous bans as well, a battle now being waged in the United States Supreme Court.

Perhaps the silver-lining in all this…the collateral-damage, if you will…is that the Republican Party is hugely out of step with an overwhelming majority of Americans who want conservatives to get the fuck out of their vaginas and uteruses. But the GOP just can’t stop, no matter the consequences.

We’ve seen huge pro-choice victories in Kansas last year and more recently in Wisconsin. And I suspect the GOP will keep losing as Democratic candidates, like my Congressman Pat Ryan did last Fall, make abortion rights their central, and winning, campaign message in ’24.