Vaping and Hand-jobs and Boobs, Oh My!

Last week Colorado Congresswoman Lauren Boebert went to see the musical BEETLEJUICE in a Denver theater full of kids. She was initially accused of vaping…asked to stop by the pregnant woman sitting behind her — and in general was acting like a rude, classless asshole… and she was ejected for “causing a disturbance”. She denied it all.

But then the night-vision security footage was released by the theater. And not only was she proven to be a colossal liar, clearly vaping and acting out, she was also caught jerking off her Tinder-toy and getting her boobs groped so aggressively it was like watching a crypto-bro waxing his Ferrari. Conduct in a public venue not just unbecoming for a Congresswoman, but for anyone with an ounce of dignity and self-respect.

And like clockwork, MAGAWorld took to her defense. Her Florida colleague Matt Gaetz tweeted “I stand with Lauren Boebert and Kristi Noem”… the latter being South Dakota’s Christian family-values-obsessed governor who was just exposed for having an extra-marital affair with former Trump stooge Corey Lewandowski, who seems to have either fucked, groped or propositioned every woman in GOP politics. It should be noted that Gaetz himself, these past couple of years, was the subject of intense investigation into sex-trafficking of a minor.

So WTF exactly is Gaetz “standing with”? Incivility? Infidelity? Lewd public sexual behavior around children? Exposing a pregnant woman to harmful chemicals? He and others like him are shamelessly defending the indefensible. They are so drunk on the Trump MAGA kool-aid that they’ve lost all respect for humanity. Anything and everything is ok…from sexual assault and rape to corruption and fraud to deadly insurrection and treason…all in sycophantic fealty to Orange Jesus. They’ve become pathetic, shameless, sub-human ghouls.

But WAIT! Pennsylvania Sen. John Fetterman walked into his chamber this week committing the despicable act of wearing a hoodie and shorts — his signature outfit — and the bloodthirsty right-wing hypocrites collectively lost their fucking minds…vomiting up non-stop about ‘decorum’ and ‘common decency’ regarding our revered Halls of Congress.

Call me crazy, but I’ll take a hoodie over a dime-store hand-job-honey any day…