Why I Hate Mother’s Day

I know I’m not alone when I say “I hate Mother’s Day”. There are millions of us who dread this Hallmark orgy each year.

As I wrote last year, Mother’s Day for many is a dreaded day because not everyone has a mother. Some have a mother they don’t like. Or even love. Some have mothers who are neglectful. Or worse, physically and/or verbally abusive. Some have mothers who’ve died, died young, or died suddenly and tragically. Or are lying in a hospital or hospice near-death. Or whose body is thriving but whose mind has deteriorated. Some have mothers who didn’t want them, and may have abandoned them.

This upcoming Mother’s Day is particularly trying for me, as my own mother passed away last month. My relationship with her was extremely complex. It was so my entire life.

Mothers are supposed to love us unconditionally. To sacrifice for us. To share in our joy, and help ease our pain. That was unfortunately not the case for me.

Our relationship was unpleasant and hurtful most of the time. It became toxic several years ago and I made the difficult decision then to completely disengage. Doing so finally felt like a huge weight was lifted. It was liberating. There’d be no more belittling. No more stress. No more guilt. No more dragging me down emotionally. No more pain. I took away her power.