Why ‘Rhonda Santis’ Won’t Be Running For President

I like to call him Rhonda Santis, because his perverse obsession with trans women, drag queens and vaginas suggests the possibility that deep down he secretly desires to be a woman even though he still identifies as a male asshole.

Repressed sexuality aside, it’s becoming abundantly clear through his relentless and, quite frankly, self-destructive attacks on Disney — Florida’s largest and certainly most beloved employer — that he is woefully unfit to ever serve as president.

Let’s consider his most glaring personality flaws: he’s incredibly small, petty, insecure, thin-skinned, selfish, self-consumed, vindictive, bigoted, angry, hateful and cruel. Not what I would consider desirable presidential assets. In fact, imagine this angry little dictator trying to negotiate in a bi-partisan fashion with a Democratic-led Congress. Imagine him addressing America’s intense polarization and tribalism. Imagine him on the world stage. With diplomacy. Dealing with our allies, or worse, handling delicate, tense and potentially-violent situations with enemies.

But most of all, DeSantis is a coward. A weak, feckless, pathetic coward who, like most bullies, only picks on those significantly weaker than himself. Which is why it’s virtually impossible to imagine him having the balls to take on the biggest bully of all, Donald Trump.

Especially given his awful momentum. His once-glistening star is fading. He’s losing key endorsements from Florida legislators and big donors; his polls are cratering; and Trump and his cronies have been successfully hammering him over his epic Disney fail while also accusing him of supporting cuts to Social Security and Medicare and eating chocolate pudding with three fingers.

Which is why I continue to predict, as I have for many months now, that DeSantis will not run for president. This coward knows a losing fight when he sees one.